What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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Come In!

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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2 guys are on a scaffolding. One of them says to the other "If you fall from here, theres a high probability you will die"

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My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

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Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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