What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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Cool Brian

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops