whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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Whats black and red inside? A black guy

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

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tobi packs fudge+parkers gay-sami

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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