What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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