can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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a horse walks into a blender ow

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops