roses are red and violets are in fact violet

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Are you a psychopath? Take this short quiz. Q1. You live in an apartment building (about 10~15 stories). You were a student studying for an exam, but decided to take some rest. You looked out the window and witnessed a man killing a girl. The man saw you and moved his finger in a certain motion. Just from the information given, what do you think the man was doing with his finger? Q2. Someone is in front of you. Who is that person? Q3. There is a portrait of a man who went to war. He was injured in two places. Where was he injured? (List the two places he was injured.) Q4. A little boy received a bike and a soccer ball for presents. But the boy hated them. Why didn't the boy like the two presents? Q5. You're a thief. You broke into someone's house. The owner of the house saw you; you have no choice but to kill the owner. But the owner hid inside the closet. How are you going to kill the owner? Q6. You're a twin (and you're a girl). You were born before your twin sister. Your grandma recently passed away and you guys had to hold a funeral for her. At the funeral, you saw a handsome, young man. You fell deeply in love him... But, you killed your twin sister. Why did you kill your twin sister? Q7. You live in an apartment. You were watching TV, but someone was knocking hard on the door. You looked through the peephole and there was a man who was holding a knife. What are you going to do? Q8. You're the youngest member of the family. You saw your mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. die right in front of your eyes. But you stood still or did nothing. Why did you? Q9. You were very thirsty. You decided to get a drink from the vending machine. What color drink did you choose? ---------------------------------------------------- A1. Normal: Memorizing your face to kill you. Psychopath: Counting what floor you live in. A2. Normal: Murderer/Criminal Psychopath: a landowner A3. Normal: Whatever the psychopath didn't say... Psychopath: Eyes and chest A4. Normal: Already own it or hate it Psychopath: Doesn't have legs A5. Normal: Stick a knife inside and kill the owner. Psychopath: Wait in front of the closet until the owner come it. A6. Normal: To see that handsome, young man again. Psychopath: To have that man all to yourself. A7. Normal: Do not open the door. Psychopath: Open the door, take the knife away from the man and stab him. A8. Normal: You were going to die anyway, too. Psychopath: Because you were bribed. A9. Normal: Red, blue, orange, etc. Psychopath: White, clear

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man get kicked out of his hotel room? He did't pay and was in debt so they couldn't allow him to stay.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

luke moore cant pull it back

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops