Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

Gay Rights

Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

Davey Peterson.

Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

GADZOOKS!

What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

whats yellow? lots of things.

Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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