How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops