Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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What's worse than the holocost? 6 Million Jews

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Colby Michael Schluter

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Morning wood.

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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