If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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Terrorist jokes make me explode with laughter.

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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Religion.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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