a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance addiction, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life and was apalled by his bad decisions.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

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Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops