Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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Religion.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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