Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

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Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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