fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Before Super Mario existed what did people play? Instruments.

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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