please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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The chicken crossed the road.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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A Mormon bishop, a Jewish Rabbi, and a Moslem Imam all died on the same day. They went to hell because they thought their good works would save them.

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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