What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

rishi is gay (coventry england)

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

Women's rights

Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

falling didnt make the difference

Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

I was Born ready I was born naked.

Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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