Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

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Top Gear USA

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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Knock knock Who's there Fetty Fetty who? Fetty Wap Hey what's up hello

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The MLS

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Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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whats 69+2? 71

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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