Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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