Jesse gets so many ladies

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Twenty-Four

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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