Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Religion.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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