Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

thumb_up thumb_down +64

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

thumb_up thumb_down -32

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

thumb_up thumb_down -101

You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops