I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops