What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Justin Bieber

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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i like cats

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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