What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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call of duty world at war

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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