when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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So you there Red?

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops