Where is my tractor?

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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How are you this morning?

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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