Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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The Olympics

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Women's Rights.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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sexual intercourse.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops