Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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