What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Queens Park rangers

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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Knock knock --Come in.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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