A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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What's 9+10? 19

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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Health food.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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How many ADD teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? Most likely only one. With advances in modern medicine, adolescents are experiencing large improvements in their abilities to focus on things from schoolwork to lightbulb changing!

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25

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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