The Christian Bible.

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Cows are land manatees.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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hey

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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