Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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gay people

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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