What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

Misner is a twat.

whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

The black man leaves the strip club.

How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

Cows are land manatees.

Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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