What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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A baptist priest walks into a bar with a boner.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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