Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

you lose.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Romans rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops