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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

What do you call a retarded black man? His name

Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

you know whats funny the letter Q

dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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