What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

24

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

homework

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops