Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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