What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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homework

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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I was Writing and i broke my pencil

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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