A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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hot diggity dog

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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Students, please find the surface integral.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because Your mother said so. Now get a life and get off this website young fellas.

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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24

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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