A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Justin's humor

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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