why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Are you a tree

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

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what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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How do you scare a bonde? tell her you want to be her uterus?

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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A blonde walks into a bar... ...she got rufeed.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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I just found out i have cancer.

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What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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split your ass cheek

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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