What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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A Black Man Walks Into A Club.

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Whats an Anti Joke

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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