knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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