shut up iggy

My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

what did batman say to robin? get in the car

A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

Neither have I

Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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