What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What are we then hypocrites?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

TOBUSCUS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops