what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? The same number it would take people with any other hair color.

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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