What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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Hi

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Women's rights

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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