whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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why did the man die? he was shot

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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