Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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NASCAR

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops