A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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A boy has enough money to buy an xbox and a game, but when he reaches the store he is no longer able to buy an xbox and a game, how is this possible? He didnt really have enough money to buy an xbox and a game.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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A farmer was robbed and complained to the sheriff's department that he suspected it was a black man behind the crime. "How do you know this for sure?" The sheriff asked him. He replied, "I chased him into the night, it was dark and I couldn't see him"

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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