fduck

Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

what's worst than being gay? being black

your mom is so annoying that she has no freinds and lives alone crying every night about how her children abandoned her

Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

Im black

Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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