I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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who ever is reading this....

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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7

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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