On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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Woman's rights

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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once upon a time, it snowed

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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